Bright and Gray: Answers​/​Questions

by Alex Johnston

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about

Do you have questions?
Questions like "Why am I here?"
"Where am I going"?
Do you ever wonder
what’s the point of suffering
or beauty?
Do you ever wonder, “what happens to Me after my body finally tires out?"
How do these questions make you feel?
Do you feel small like a drop of rain crashing to the ground
or do you feel large like an ocean,
Sometimes I wonder
if my eyes are focused on one brush stroke
in a much larger painting
I have more questions than answers
and I’m suspicious I am not the only one
so I have written a two part collection of music called "Bright and Gray"
a concept project of two five-song collections
exploring the uncertainty,
the journey we share together.
The first collection is an exploration of existential musings entitled answers/questions.
The second collection is a personal testimony of deconstruction and reconstruction entitled belief/doubt.
Everyone questions.
Everyone answers.
Everyone believes
Everyone doubts.
It's commonly human yet unique.
It's a paradox.
It's beautiful.
It's bright and gray.

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released December 9, 2016

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about

Alex Johnston Everett, Washington

Because the nature of this world is impermanent,
I invite you to see these works as a progression of moments reflecting on the past, speaking to the present, and pondering the future. I invite you to see my work as one continuous unfolding story. Most importantly, I want to invite you on a journey. Will you join me? ... more

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Track Name: Nothing Lasts for Long
shapes in the sky
each day and night
born by water and flame
shades in the sky
colored by light
giving and taking their weight
why do they change?

nothing lasts for long
in this life
nothing lasts for long
as long as i don’t hold on too tight

i held onto reasons
as if they were gold
given by heaven
too heavy to hold
they turned into demons
when i questioned control
given by heaven
too heavy to hold

seasons inquire
what shall survive
what dares to go to the grave
and die for a change?
Track Name: No Answers
questions call like autumn’s breeze
is this an end? am I ready?
my answers fall like dried up leaves
from my weary mind like a tired tree
they pile on the ground till winter comes
decomposing confidence to dust
and given light and water nothing grows
spinning round the sun i’ve become cold
all i know is i’ve got no answers

part of me afraid, part of me accepts
all of me leans in to the emptiness
less of me contained letting go of this
more of me content finding what i’ve missed

complexity like autumns breeze reminds me
there’s peace in wild things
paradox comforts me there’s freedom
in learning i’ve got no answers
Track Name: Curious
would I be wrong to question
if everything's a dream?
If clarity is crystal
why do we disagree?
is the purpose progress
or only to arrive?
if nothing finishes
is that alright?
am I free to question
what makes me alive?
I'm only curious

if I am a question
will something answer me?
will I be open ended
with possibilities?
can colors sing a song?
may melodies be seen?
if my feelings could be touched
would I kiss my fear?
am I free to question
if it would set me free

don't console me with chains of gold
I know there's more than I've been told

if I am an answer
then what is wrong and right?
will there be an ending
or continue through this fight?
how will I begin?
where will freedom fly?
is the purpose progress
or only to arrive?
if the answer is a question
how will I reply?

don't you tell me the river froze
for we've yet to love we've yet to hold
don't you sell me the future for war
we have all been there before
I'm only curious
Track Name: Skeptical
I'm skeptical
the heavens are above
some say there's hell within a criminal
but I would argue not
cause I found heaven in a criminal
crying for another chance to be released
some say the heavens are above me
but I’m a skeptic don’t you see
I found heaven in a criminal
I found a criminal in me

I'm skeptical
love has boundaries
some say there's hate within a warrior
but what if there is peace
cause I found love within a warrior
laying down his sword and shield
some say love has boundaries
but i’m a skeptic don’t you see
I found love within a warrior
I found a warrior in me

I'm skeptical
this world is dying fast
some say we only live till death
but that’s weak arguing
cause I heard truth from a dead architect
who built a monument to last through his years
some say this world is dying fast
but I’m a skeptic don’t you see
beauty can survive the centuries
a dead man spoke to me
some say this world is dying fast
but there’s no argument,
even though the fear will fight,
peace is patient given time,
what we create within our lives
lives beyond our death
Track Name: How I See
another page is turned
waiting to be inked
another hopeful forecast
another crumpled wish

another run around the circle
Yet to be convinced
another chance to listen
for the calm in dissonance

another expectation
meets surprise and circumstance
another realization
shatters how I understand

another question answered
in a language I don't speak
another kiss goodbye
becomes another welcoming

how do I see how I see?